New Beginings
by poppy22
Summary: Thomas Barrow returns to work after recovering from his beating at the fair. Though he is happy to have regained his friendship with Jimmy he still yearns for something more. With the arrival of a visiting valet Freddie, Thomas is about to experience all of the closeness that Jimmy denied him. Set after the 2012 Christmas special possible Thommy later.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Fresh Start.

Thomas walked into the servant's hall for the first time in two weeks. He had finally recovered enough from his injuries received at the fair to return to work. He felt happier than he had in months as he grinned at Jimmy who gave him a tentative smile in return.

"Morning Mr Barrow."

"Morning Jimmy."

"Glad to see you're doing better."

"So am I" replied Thomas. He moved across the room and took a seat next to Jimmy who stiffened for a moment before relaxing.

"So has anything exciting been happening in my absence?" asked Thomas pretending not to notice Jimmy's wariness.

"No not much. Mr Carson has been keeping us busy. Alfred and I have been setting up the new furniture in the guest rooms."

"Do you fancy a game of cards after dinner?" said Thomas trying to sound nonchalant as he pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket, selected one, lit it and inhaled deeply.

Jimmy seemed to hesitate. "Not tonight. I think I might just get an early night. As I said we've had a lot of work to do lately. In fact I should probably get started. Mr Carson has us polishing all the silver. Are you coming Alfred?"

Jimmy turned to his left addressing the second footman as he rose from the table.

"Ye I'm coming" replied Alfred.

"Well enjoy" said Thomas giving the pair a strained smile so as to hide his disappointment.

"Some other time maybe" said Jimmy. "And again I'm pleased you're feeling better".

"Thanks" replied Thomas as he watched Jimmy and Alfred exit the servant's hall. As he slowly exhaled the smoke from his cigarette he tried to ignore the sharp pain in his chest he'd felt at Jimmy's refusal. But then it had only been recently that Jimmy had even begun speaking to him again after _that night_.

Thomas closed his eyes briefly as the shame; embarrassment and humiliation all came flooding back to him. He still couldn't believe how recklessly he had acted. He was always so careful when it came to things like that. But it had been a long time since Thomas had felt that kind of closeness with anyone and though he hated to admit it, he was lonely. The thought that there was even a slight chance his affections would be returned was just too much to resist.

But it was only a fantasy and having Jimmy reject him and the aftermath that followed was a big dose of reality. Jimmy didn't have the same kind of feelings Thomas had for him and Thomas's actions had almost cost him everything, his job, his freedom and his friendship with Jimmy. He opened his eyes and gave himself a mental shake.

After all he was lucky really. He still had his job and his freedom. And now he was even luckier as his relationship with Jimmy was beginning to be rebuilt. He was lucky. But he remained somewhat sorrowful for he knew it would be some time before his friendship with Jimmy would be what it was. And that is all it ever could be. A friendship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2. Beautiful Stranger. **

Several months later.

Thomas was sitting in the servant's hall after dinner reading his newspaper and listening to Alfred and Jimmy bicker over who was going to ask Ivy out on their half day.

"You don't even like her!" seethed Alfred. "You only do it to tease me and it's getting old".

"How do you know how I feel? Maybe I'm secretly madly in love with her and the fact it drives you crazy is just a bonus" said Jimmy grinning.

Alfred jumped up from his seat and stalked into the kitchen.

"You shouldn't pester him Jimmy" said Anna good naturedly. "It's not fair to Ivy if you lead her on just to annoy Alfred".

"Oh I'm only messing" said Jimmy. "It's just too funny when he gets all flustered".

Thomas chuckled behind his paper. Sometimes Jimmy really reminded him of himself. The love triangle between the two footmen and the kitchen maid was not unlike the situation Thomas had been in when he would flirt with Daisy just to tease William.

After several months of awkwardness, Thomas and Jimmy had fallen into a little routine. James continued to flirt more and more with Ivy and Alfred became more and more annoyed by it. Afterwards he would ask Thomas to read him something from the paper or start up a game of cards. Slowly but surely they were becoming the kind of friends they used to be. Though there was still a distance between them. They never discussed what had happened _that night_ but Thomas was aware that Jimmy's flirting with Ivy was as much for his benefit as it was for Alfred's. Jimmy was still never totally relaxed when he and Thomas were alone.

Everyone rose to their feet as Mr Carson entered the room flanked by Mrs Hughes looking very flustered himself.

"I have just been speaking to her ladyship and we are to expect a visitor to arrive on the 11 o clock train from London." Said Carson looking very put out indeed.

"As you are aware this is very short notice and so we will all must work very hard in the morning in preparation for their stay".

"Who is it?" asked Anna.

"Lord and Lady Cartwright" replied Mrs Hughes. "They are only just back from a visit to America and hadn't heard of Mr Crawley's death".

Everyone remained silent for a moment as they remembered the recent passing of Matthew Crawley and how difficult it had been for the past few months on the family. But they were coming out of mourning and had had many house guests in the wake of the funeral.

"I must say it is a very ill-timed visit and very inconsiderate that we have not had a reasonable amount of time to prepare for their stay" said Mr Carson sternly.

"Well that wasn't their fault" Mrs Hughes sighed in exasperation. "And anyway with the amount of visitors we have had in the past few months we are well equipped to manage a few extra guests."

"We'll see" replied Mr Carson sternly. "With them will be her ladyship's lady's maid Miss Butler and his Lordship's valet Mr Reid. Mr Barrow I trust you will look after them during their stay?"

"Of Course Mr Carson" smiled Thomas but inside he was fuming. Thomas hated extra work.

"Right so I think it would be best if everyone went to bed. We have a lot to do in the morning".

With that everyone got up and went to bed.

….

The next morning Thomas was out in the yard having a cigarette when he was approached by an unfamiliar woman dressed in a Lady's maid uniform.

"Would you be Mr Barrow?" she asked.

"I am"

"I'm Miss Butler, Mr Carson sent me to try and find a footman to help with the luggage but they seem to have disappeared. Would you mind giving us a hand?"

"Of course" replied Thomas silently cursing Jimmy and Alfred.

"I must dash but Mr Reid is waiting for you out front".

Thomas strolled around to the front very unhappy at the prospect of even more work when he was halted by the sight of one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen.

"Mr Barrow I take it? I'm Freddie Reid, Lord Cartwright's valet"

"I am" said Thomas in awe "but please call me Thomas".


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3. New friends**

"So Mr Reid, how did you enjoy America?"

"Quite well Mr Barrow. Though I have to say it is certainly good to be home."

Thomas simply couldn't take his eyes of him. He couldn't help but compare him to Jimmy though the two looked nothing alike. Freddie was tall and slim with soft brown hair and big watery grey eyes. He was older then Jimmy, closer to Thomas's age but there was a glint in his eye and a smirk in his smile that reminded him of the footman. Thomas found himself at a loss for words when he was around him.

Suddenly the dressing gong rang out and Freddie and Thomas rose up from the table.

"I better go up, mind showing me the way?"

"Not at all" replied Thomas.

"I'll look after Miss Butler" said Anna smiling at the Miss Butler and the two left.

Freddie indicated that Thomas should go first and so he began to climb the staircase unable to shake the feeling that Freddie was eyeing his every move.

They reached Lord Cartwright's door much sooner than Thomas would have liked.

"It's just through here".

"Thank you for your help Mr Barrow. I hope you don't mind if I come to you if I have any questions".

Freddie held out his hand. Thomas shook it feeling his whole body shiver as he did so.

"Of course Mr Reid that's why I'm here" stuttered Thomas.

Thomas was very aware that their hands were still clasped tightly together, even more so when Freddie suddenly took a step forward so that he and Thomas were almost nose to nose.

"Please call me Freddie, Thomas. At least when we're alone".

Thomas was frozen. He felt every muscle in his body tense up at the sudden closeness and embarrassingly he could feel himself getting hard.

"S-s-sure".

It suddenly became all too much for Thomas he wrenched his hand out of Freddie's grasp and turned to walk swiftly away. As he rounded the corner he briefly glanced back to see Freddie still watching him a smile playing on his lips. He nodded his head to Thomas and slipped into the guest room.

Thomas all but ran to his room. As soon as he was behind the door he shoved his trousers down to his ankles, lifted up his shirt and slowly ran his hands over his chest, stomach and lower gripping himself firmly. He closed his eyes imagining his hands were Freddie's stoking him, teasing him, wanting him. It had been a long time since he had felt like this. He increased the pace of his strokes and soon found himself gasping for breath. Suddenly he lurched forward crouched over his wash basin and he let out a long groan as he came.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror he flinched. What was he doing? He hastily wiped himself of and began to redress. It was dangerous to think like this. Freddie was only being friendly. But even as he thought this he remembered how Freddie had pulled him in close so that they were almost nose to nose. That wasn't just friendly, was it?

Thomas scooped up some water and splashed it on his face the chill of the water dampening his desire. Stop it! Whether or not he was interested was irrelevant. Thomas couldn't afford to slip up again. He had read the signs so wrongly before he couldn't allow himself to do it again. He straightened up and took one last deep breath before making his way back downstairs before someone came looking for him.

…

Freddie Reid struggled to hide a smile as the flushed under butler snatched his hand away and practically ran away from him. Unlike Thomas, Freddie had no doubt that Thomas was interested in him. He had seen the hungry look in his eyes before he had pulled away. Freddie tried to compose himself before seeing to Lord Cartwright, but his thoughts quickly returned to Mr Barrow. Miss Butler was a distant cousin of the former lady's maid Miss O Brien. She had told Freddie of how Miss O Brien had written of the events that had occurred between the then valet and one of the footmen. Freddie had felt pity for the man but was surprised to learn that he was still employed at Downton Abbey and on top of that had received a promotion.

All of this increased his interest in the under butler and when he set eyes on the ebony haired man he wasn't disappointed. He knew it would simply be a matter of time before he got him alone. He was somewhat disappointed when Thomas had pulled away but after witnessing the tense exchanges between him and Jimmy he understood why. Thomas Barrow was no novice, but his confidence had been knocked and Freddie knew that if he wanted Thomas he would have to make the first move.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Flirting.**

It had been five days since Freddie had arrived and Thomas felt he had not relaxed for one of them. It was becoming more and more evident that Freddie was flirting with him and the tenser Thomas became the more the valet teased him. Twice already Thomas had had to quickly excuse himself and relieve himself in his bedroom. But still he was wary. He couldn't allow his imagination to run away with itself again.

…

Freddie on the other hand was enjoying the process far more then Thomas was. He was becoming more and more daring. He made a point of coming to Thomas with even the most trivial of questions just to have an excuse to talk to him. Every evening during dinner he sat next to Thomas who would blush deeply every time Freddie brushed against him. As fun as it was, after a few days Freddie was just as frustrated as Thomas was and with only a few days left of his visit he decided to take more assertive action.

That evening after the servants had eaten their dinner Freddie was sitting next to Thomas who was reading the newspaper. Jimmy and Alfred were playing cards noisily nearby while Miss Butler was chatting happily to Anna who was mending the hem of one of Lady Mary's blouses. Freddie was polishing a pair of shoes for Lord Cartwright. He had already "accidently" dropped the brush on the floor and when he went to retrieve it he made sure to slowly run the back of his hand up Thomas's leg. He heard the soft crunch of the newspaper as Thomas had clutched it sharply in surprise.

Freddie was smiling to himself when Mrs Hughes walked into the room. "I've just been speaking to Lady Grantham and the family are to take a picnic tomorrow to give Lord and Lady Cartwright a tour of the grounds. So you will all be pleased to know that you will have the afternoon off!"

Everyone laughed and clapped and Alfred scattered his cards in excitement much to Jimmy's annoyance.

"What will we do?" asked Anna.

"Well as a treat her ladyship has given you all permission to take the car into Rippon. There's a fair going on. Just a small one, but there will be market stalls and maybe a few games if anyone is interested".

The table murmured happily in agreement. "Well then we should probably all get a good night's sleep" said Mrs Hughes and with that she turned and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. There was a scraping of chairs as one by one the others began to get up and say their good nights.

Thomas remained in his seat. He had let his mind wander after Freddie had brushed up against him and once again, to his embarrassment, he found he was not quite ready to stand up.

"Will you go to the fair Mr Barrow?" asked Freddie trying to hide his amusement at the under butlers current situation.

"Oh I don't know I might just take the afternoon off, I don't have the best track record with fairs"

"That's a pity I was hoping we could go together"

Thomas felt every muscle in his body contract at those words and he tried to subtly hide his erection with his newspaper.

"Are you quite well Mr Barrow? You look a little flushed" said Freddie softly moving closer to Thomas.

"No no I'm fine!" said Thomas hating the squeak in his voice. "I think I just need to rest".

"Well are you sure there is nothing I can help you with?" Freddie left the question lingering between them.

Thomas couldn't speak he was desperately wishing he was upstairs in his room so he could take care of his painful erection.

"Because" continued Freddie "I'm always willing to help out a friend".

And with that he placed his hand firmly on Thomas's knee. Thomas could feel heart beat so badly he thought it might beat right through his chest.

"Just tell me to stop" whispered Freddie and keeping his eyes locked with Thomas's he slowly moved his hand along the inside of Thomas's thigh coming to rest on the bulge and squeezing.

Thomas inhaled sharply as Freddie began to massage his cock through his trousers.

"You shouldn't have been so coy Mr Barrow" said Freddie grinning "We could have been doing this days ago". With that he undid the buttons on Thomas's trousers and pulled out his cock. "You're free!" laughed Freddie as he began stroking.

Thomas couldn't believe this was happening. He felt sure he must be dreaming but as Freddie's strokes increased in tempo Thomas knew this was no dream.

Freddie pumped faster and faster feeling himself stiffen with every stroke. He never took his eyes of Thomas who by now was moaning softly.

"Oh Freddie… I'm close" Freddie only worked harder and faster and Thomas suddenly shivered all over as he came all over Freddie's hand. Freddie silenced the under butlers groaning by firmly kissing him and continuing to softly stroke Thomas until he was completely spent.

"That was amazing" gasped Thomas. He grinned at Freddie and suddenly seized his face in both hands and kissed him. "Well" said Freddie between kisses "you could return the favour".

Thomas smiled and slowly ran his hand down the valet's chest causing him to moan softly. He was just about to undo Freddie's trousers when he heard footsteps approaching. He quickly redid his trousers but to his dismay saw the front was very obviously stained.

"Shouldn't you be getting to bed Mr Barrow?" boomed Mr Carson. "I expect a lot of work to be done in the morning if you are to get the afternoon off".

"Of course Mr Carson!" said Thomas reluctantly standing up desperately trying to hide the stains on his crotch without bringing attention to the area.

"You too Mr Reid"

"Yes right away Mr Carson" said Freddie rising to his feet and looking the picture of innocence to Tomas's annoyance.

"I'll see you both bright and early" said Mr Carson indicating that they should leave first.

"Don't forget your paper Mr Barrow" said Freddie slyly handing it to Thomas in such a way so it hid the front of Thomas's trousers.

"Thanks" replied Thomas wryly and the two quickly exited the room and scurried up the stairs.

It wasn't until they were well out of earshot that Freddie suddenly doubled over with laughter.

"Sssh!" whispered Thomas frantically glancing around. "You'll wake the whole house!"

"Sorry but that was too close. We'll have to be more careful next time"

"Who says there'll be a next time" said Thomas grinning slyly

"Oh there'll be a next time. You still owe me remember?" with that Freddie grabbed Thomas's hand and placed it on his crotch.

Thomas grinned "we really shouldn't push our luck. Unless you like the idea of Mr Carson finding us like this when he comes up to bed?"

The pair dissolved into giggles at the idea. "It'd probably be the most exciting thing to happen to him in years!" laughed Freddie clutching his side. "But I suppose your right this probably isn't the place for it. Besides you have a whole afternoon off tomorrow to make it up to me".

With that Freddie gave one last quick kiss before disappearing behind his bedroom door. Thomas just stood there smirking to himself until he was startled out of his revive by a door opening to his left. To his surprise Jimmy's blond head popped out.

"Oh" said Jimmy embarrassed "I thought I heard something but it's just you Thomas".

"Yes I was just heading to bed sorry to have disturbed you"

Jimmy seemed to accept this but his eyes widened as he caught sight of Thomas's trousers which he had failed to button correctly in his haste to redress.

Jimmy met Thomas's eyes and his eyes and face grew hot. "Goodnight Mr Barrow" he said stiffly and closed the door firmly.

Thomas sighed but despite Jimmy's behaviour Thomas was happier the he had been in years and as he walked to his bedroom to clean himself off and go to bed he couldn't help but think of what tomorrow would bring.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 Caught.**

Thomas awoke that morning grinning from ear to ear. He dressed quickly and went downstairs to find everyone else was already having their breakfast.

"Hurry up Mr Barrow your running behind I was about to send one of the hall boys up to fetch you" said Carson sternly.

Thomas grinned at Freddie who had saved him a seat.

"Sorry Mr Carson I overslept" said Thomas sitting down and accepting a cup of tea from Daisy.

"Well if you are tired perhaps you shouldn't be going to the fair this afternoon".

Carson was pleased to see a flicker of worry cross Thomas's face.

"Of course he's going" said Mrs Hughes. "We've all been working hard, especially Mr Barrow, and he deserves an outing as much as the rest of us".

"Oh I suppose so" grumbled Carson.

As normal chatter resumed Freddie leaned in closer to Thomas.

"I hope I didn't keep you up too late Mr Barrow"

"Not at all Mr Reid" smiled Thomas "I enjoyed our chat".

The pair smiled but Thomas quickly caught sight of Jimmy eyeing them suspiciously and not wanting to give him the wrong (or right) impression he turned away from Freddie to ask Anna if she was looking forward to the fair.

…..

That afternoon Freddie and Thomas wandered about the various stalls chatting amiably. The fair was by no means as large as the one in Thirsk had been but Thomas was having a far better time. They had entered the fair with everyone else not wanting to draw attention to themselves but at each stall they were separated from the rest. Anna and Bates had stopped at a stall selling furniture and they were considering buying a rocking chair, Alfred was chewing the ear off the man running a stall selling herbs and spices and Jimmy, Ivy and Daisy had stopped to play a game of ring toss. Freddie asked Thomas if he wanted a drink and so they walked over to a stall where a stout woman was selling hot cider.

"Enjoying yourself?" asked Freddie.

"I am actually. More than I thought I would".

"Fancy walking down here?" Freddie indicated a narrow side street.

"Why not" said Thomas who by now was feeling the effects of the cider and could feel his whole body getting warmer.

They walked for about fifteen minutes not passing anyone or anything.

"There's nothing down here" complained Thomas.

"I know"

Thomas suddenly felt himself being shoved roughly against the cold brick wall.

"Ouch!" but his protests were silenced by Freddie crushing his lips against Thomas's mouth.

"Are you sure you want to risk it after last time?"

"Oh come on" whispered Freddie "like you said there's no one around and you still owe me a favour and I think I'll take it in kind".

Thomas felt himself melt into the wall behind him as Freddie ran his hands all over him sending pleasant shivers up Thomas's spine.

"I suppose I do" smiled Thomas. He spun Freddie so his back was against the all as Thomas began to kiss his neck while his fingers slipped into the waistband of Freddie's trousers.

"Oh god" moaned Freddie as Thomas gracefully dropped to his knees and pulled Freddie's already hard cock out of his trousers and kissed the tip gently.

Freddie anxiously glanced around but his attention was quickly brought back to Thomas who was now running his tongue all over his cock from base to tip.

Thomas then took Freddie fully into his mouth causing the valet to moan rather loudly made only louder as it echoed off the walls of the alley.

"Would you keep it down" smirked Thomas removing his mouth but continuing to stroke Freddie off.

Freddie was in no condition to speak though. He ran his fingers through Thomas's hair pulling him back to task.

"Oh God Thomas" he moaned "I'm almost there"

He began to move his hips matching his thrusts with Thomas's movements. But as Thomas felt Freddie climax he slowed down taking Freddie deeper and deeper as he continued to suck and swallow.

Freddie helped Thomas to his feet and pulled him close for a long languishing kiss.

"Can I come to your room tonight? Asked Freddie.

Thomas felt himself stiffen at the prospect. "Well I could hardly turn you away".

The two men quickly redressed and began to walk back to the fair. They exited the alley and headed back over to a stall where Daisy and Ivy, who was looking very disgruntled, had just bought roasted chestnuts and offered them to the men. They were so at ease that neither noticed the blond footman hiding in the shadows.

…

"Come on Jimmy try and win me something" said Ivy flirtatiously pulling jimmy over to a ring toss game while Daisy followed behind rolling her eyes.

The last thing Jimmy wanted to do was waste his money on a silly game but he couldn't resist showing off and the thoughts of Alfred's face when they returned, Ivy gushing over some silly trinket he'd won for her made him smirk maliciously.

"Oh go on then" he handed his money over to the vender and was given three rings in return. He tossed the first one over shooting the target by several inches. The second fell just short and the third somehow managed to bounce off the wooden base supporting the small china doll he'd been aiming at and clatter to the floor.

"These things are rigged!" huffed Jimmy furious at his lack of success.

"Never mind" said Ivy sweetly trying to placate him but Jimmy was suddenly in no mood to tolerate her affections.

"Oh leave me alone will you! Stop following me around all the time can't you tell I'm not interested."

Daisy stared at Jimmy in shock while Ivy looked scandalised.

"I need a drink" muttered Jimmy moving quickly on before his temper got the better of him.

He wandered over to the very same cider stall that unbeknownst to him had just been visited by Thomas and Freddie and proceeded to down three glasses of cider in quick succession. The effect made his mind swim and his bladder protest. Not bothered to stagger around looking for the nearest toilet Jimmy walked down a side alley intent on relieving himself against a wall.

He was doing just that when he suddenly became aware of a loud moaning sound. He quickly cast about but could not find the source of the sound which was becoming more urgent. He put himself to rights and slowly began to creep further into the darkness of the alleyway.

He had just cautiously peered around a corner when he was frozen by what he saw. There only a few feet from where he was standing was Thomas on his knees in front of Freddie pleasuring him while the latter appeared to be enjoying himself immensely.

Jimmy couldn't believe his eyes. He knew what Thomas was of course, he had first-hand experience, and he had suspected that Freddie was the same after catching Thomas in a somewhat compromising position in the hallway and discovering the two had spent most of the night together. But despite this he hadn't really thought they were _doing_ anything together. Especially not something that Jimmy had only heard described in dirty postcards and never experienced for himself.

He stood there dumbstruck by the sight of Thomas's head bobbing up and down and by Freddie's increased breathing. He was disgusted of course, but that didn't prevent his body from reacting and he was horrified to find he was aroused by the whole thing.

He also felt something else something that made him both hot and cold all over but he quickly dismissed it as he watched as Freddie suddenly came into Thomas's mouth. He stood oddly fascinated as Thomas deftly swallowed until Freddie was totally spent.

Realising that they were finished Jimmy suddenly turned and left as quietly as he could not wanting to be caught watching and associated with what they had been doing. He ducked under the shadow of one of the larger stalls trying to catch his breath and compose himself before he returned to the fair. Just then Freddie and Thomas emerged looking as though nothing unusual had occurred between them as the pair strolled over to Daisy and Ivy. Daisy was chatting happily while Ivy appeared to be sulking. From where he stood Jimmy watched as Thomas took a chestnut offered by Daisy and popped it into his mouth. The image of Thomas with Freddie in his mouth suddenly leapt into Jimmy's mind causing his body to go hot and cold once more but this time Jimmy recognised the emotion lurking underneath. Jimmy turned away and shook himself.

He needed to get a grip it was just the drink talking. He didn't feel that way he couldn't feel that way. It was ridiculous. But as he glanced back at the pair and stared as Freddie casually ran his hand down Thomas's back the sensation returned. Jimmy felt his face flush with anger and as much as he hated to admit it, he was jealous.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. Revelations**

Thomas stood out in the yard smoking happily relaying everything that had happened that day. They had returned from the fair a few hours previous. Freddie was upstairs helping Lord Cartwright change while the other servants were in the servant's hall waiting for Mrs Patmore to finish with their dinner. Or almost everyone Thomas amended as he noted Jimmy slump out into the yard looking miserable.

"Everything all right?" Thomas asked.

Jimmy jumped and his eyes sought Thomas who was leaning against the wall.

"I didn't think anyone was out here" said Jimmy who shifted uneasily.

"I was just leaving" Thomas stubbed out his cigarette and made to leave.

"No don't" said Jimmy. "I wanted to ask you something".

"Well go ahead"

"I was wondering if you…"

"Yes?"

"If you wanted to play cards later" James finished lamely.

"Oh. Well actually I was going to go to bed early"

"Right" replied James darkly. "I expect you would be tired after this afternoon"

"Pardon?" asked Thomas nervously. He was uneasy about the tone of jimmy's voice. He hadn't spoken to him in such a way since they'd patched up their friendship.

"I mean I'd be tired too if I had to spend all day entertaining Mr Reid. When is he leaving anyway?"

"Wednesday" just two days' time thought Thomas sadly. "I didn't realise you disliked him so much"

"I don't. That is I don't dislike him." Replied Jimmy defensively. I'm just tired of having only Alfred to play cards with since you're always so busy with _him"_

"So what, you have a problem with my spending time with someone else?" asked Thomas flattered by Jimmy's words.

Jimmy picked up on this and became angry at what Thomas was inferring. That he couldn't have fun without him. That he needed him,

"No, I just have a problem with _how_ you two are spending time together"

Thomas felt the colour drain from his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw what you were doing"

Suddenly all of Thomas's fears came flooding to the surface. He saw himself losing his job, no one would defend him this time, or worse imprisoned. He knew what happened to his sort in prisons. And what about Freddie. Thomas knew their relationship was only a fling but the thoughts of Freddie losing everything, of being disgraced made Thomas snap.

"Look" he spat venomously. "I don't know what you think you saw but don't think I'm going to let you mess everything up for me again. I am your superior so you better do as you are told and keep your mouth shut!"

Jimmy took a step back shocked and hurt by the harshness of Thomas's words.

"I'd never…"

But Jimmy never got to finish for just at that moment Alfred came bounding out into the yard fuming. He rounded on Jimmy and shoved him.

"I've just been talking to Ivy. How dare you speak that way to her!"

It took Jimmy several seconds to realise just what Alfred was talking about.

"Oh yeah, the fair"

"Oh yeah?!" mimicked Alfred "Oh yeah! That's all you have to say for yourself? You don't deserve someone like her. You don't deserve anyone"

Suddenly all the hurt and anger Jimmy was experiencing bubbled over and he lunged at Alfred sending him crashing back into the servants' hall. Thomas quickly leapt forward to try and calm down the situation but received a smack in the mouth from Alfred as he tried to separate the two.

Daisy screamed at the commotion while Ivy burst into tears running back into the kitchen.

Mr Bates and Freddie who had both just come from upstairs quickly jumped into action and tried to pull the pair apart while Thomas fuming nursed his swollen mouth which was by now bleeding profusely.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" stormed Mr Carson.

He helped Mr Bates to pull Alfred to his feet while Freddie helped up Jimmy.

"Get off me" snapped Jimmy. "I don't need any help especially not from you!"

Freddie let go of Jimmy and returned his gaze with an icy coldness.

"James and Alfred! You are to go to your rooms at once without dinner. I will discuss your behaviour in the morning at which point I will decide whether you will still be employed at Downton. GO NOW!" yelled Carson.

James and Alfred began heading for the stairs making sure to bump into each other on the way.

"Mrs Patmore will you please get that girl under control!" fumed Carson indicating to Ivy who at this point was howling into her apron.

…..

Sometime later when everything had finally calmed down and everyone had eaten there dinner (except the two footmen) Mrs Patmore had managed to extract the story from Ivy. After much arguing Mrs Hughes had finally managed to convince Mr Carson not to fire the footmen and to chalk the whole thing up to foolish young love. Mr Carson had reluctantly agreed but insisted the pair remain in their rooms for the remainder of the night without supper and in the morning they would receive a stern lecture and not have any time off for the next month.

Thomas was once again outside smoking something which as now difficult to do considering the swelling in his mouth (which Anna had helped him patch up). The house was quiet with everyone having gone up to bed. Almost everyone he corrected as Freddie emerged from the servants' hall and walked briskly over to him.

"How are you feeling?" His voice full of concern.

"Like I've been punched in the mouth" replied Thomas bitterly.

"So I suppose a repeat of this afternoon is out of the question then" said Freddie grinning at the blush forming on Thomas's cheeks.

"I'm not sure I'd be very effective in this condition."

"Well maybe we could go upstairs and find something else to do."

Thomas felt his face go cold as he remembered Jimmy's words.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He hesitated before continuing, "Jimmy saw us".

Worry flickered over Freddie's face before his features formed a knowing expression. "Ah. So that's why".

"Why what?" asked Thomas puzzled.

"Why he reacted the way he did" replied Freddie plucking Thomas's cigarette from his hand and taking a long drag. "He likes you" he said blowing smoke out.

"I don't think so" said Thomas trying to ignore the somersault in his stomach at the thought. "He's made his feelings pretty clear. He tried to have me fired, without a reference. Hell he threatened to turn me over to the police!"

"And yet you're still here".

"That's no thanks to him!"

"Even so. Don't you find it odd after everything that you're still here, he's still here and you're friends? I think he likes you a lot more then he'd like to admit. Why else would he dislike me so much?"

"He doesn't…" But Thomas knew that Jimmy did dislike Freddie.

"Exactly. But that doesn't concern me. My only concern is do _you_ still like him?"

Thomas avoided Freddie's gaze. Of course he still liked Jimmy. You didn't just get over loving someone even if they didn't love you back. Even if you found someone new.

"Nothing will ever happen between us"

Freddie smiled sadly. "That's not what I asked".

Thomas didn't know what to say. Instead he laid his hand on Freddie's cheek caressing it gently.

"Look" Freddie took Thomas's hand and held it between both of his staring fondly down at it. "We both knew this would be temporary. I don't expect you to fall in love with me. But it's been a long time since I've been this close with someone… like us". He paused to look up at Thomas,

"Tomorrow is my last night here and I'd like it if I could spend it with you. Take tonight to think about it and if you change your mind come to my room tomorrow night.

With that he lifted Thomas's hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"Goodnight Thomas".

"Goodnight"

…..

Thomas stayed up long after Freddie had gone to bed. His stomach grumbled and so he went into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. It was only then did he remember Jimmy who had not eaten since lunch. Before he could think about it too much Thomas grabbed some bread, cheese, a large slice of apple crumble and a half full bottle of wine Mrs Patmore had been using in one of her sauces.

He crept up the stairs to the men's corridor and paused outside Jimmy's bedroom. Trying not to think about the last time he had visited Jimmy's room he knocked quietly.

Just when Thomas was thinking of giving up and going to bed the door creaked open and Jimmy's blond head popped out.

"Thomas?" he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might be hungry" replied Thomas holding up evidence of his theft.

Jimmy's eyes widened hungrily when he caught sight of the food and he stepped back to usher Thomas in. He snatched the food from his hands and sitting on his bed he began to tuck in. Thomas stood watching as Jimmy scoffed the bread not quite sure as to whether he should stay or not.

"Do you want to sit down" said Jimmy indicating the desk chair. "Err… did you want some?"

"No. But I will take a swig of the wine". He reached out to take the bottle trying to ignore the way Jimmy's pyjama top clung to his chest.

They sat in silence for a few moments eating and drinking until finally Jimmy broke the silence.

"Look Thomas, I'm sorry about what I said. I shouldn't have mentioned it".

"Were you following me?" asked Thomas experiencing an odd sense of de ja vu as he asked.

"No! I just wanted to take a piss! I guess I had too much to drink and when I heard Mr Reid err moaning" Jimmy began to blush heavily "I didn't think what might have been happening. I certainly wasn't expecting to find you…together". Jimmy if possible blushed even deeper. "But I won't tell anyone. I promise".

Thomas was reeling from Jimmy's admission. He wasn't sure whether he was more shocked that they had been seen or that Jimmy wasn't going to do anything about it.

"Well… thank you Jimmy. And I'm sorry too, for snapping at you".

"It's all right I suppose I had it coming. No one seems to like me very much at the moment. And I'll probably be kicked out in the morning so I suppose it won't matter much" said Jimmy miserably.

Thomas reached out to grip Jimmy by the shoulder. "It's not so bad Jimmy. You're not going to lose your job though I suspect you'll wish you had when Carson has you polishing silver 'til your hands bleed".

Jimmy smiled a little at that.

"And anyway, I still like you". Thomas removed his hand from Jimmy's shoulder not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"Do you?"

"Of course I do."

"I thought you liked Mr Reid now".

Thomas suddenly felt very uncomfortable himself. "Well I can like both of you. Just… differently"

Thomas was almost certain he saw a flicker of disappointment flash across Jimmy's face but it was gone so fast he felt he must have imagined it.

"I better get back. Wouldn't want Carson to find me in here and get us into more trouble".

"Oh ok."

Thomas got up and walked swiftly to the door opening it slowly to peer out.

"Thanks Thomas"

Thomas turned around gave Jimmy one last smile before he slipped out.

After he left Jimmy wished he could have asked him to stay longer. Asked him if it was normal to feel jealous of Mr Reid. But he knew he couldn't ask him that. He was afraid of revealing too much. How could he explain that he felt aroused when he watched them. That he wasn't jealous because Reid was taking Thomas away as a friend but that he wanted Thomas to feel that way about him, only him. That he was afraid only Thomas really liked him for who he was and the thought of losing that made him sick to his stomach.

As he drifted off to sleep that night he was visited by images of Thomas. He dreamed he were kneeling at Thomas's feet, stroking him and kissing him. Thomas moaned and told him he loved him and as he came in Jimmy's mouth, he tasted like red wine.

The next morning he was woken by Alfred knocking on his door saying Carson was waiting for them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: The Wine Cellar**

Most of the servants were seated in the servants' hall trying to ignore the raised voices coming from Mr Carson's office.

"Poor things" whispered Anna "I feel bad for anyone who has to be on the receiving end of Mr Carson's temper".

"It's not as though they don't deserve it" noted Bates.

"Too right" muttered Thomas still angry about the punch he'd received though thankfully the swelling had reduced significantly and there was only the faintest bruise remaining.

"We all do foolish things for love" smiled Anna blushing slightly as she gazed at her husband.

"We certainly do" smiled Bates as he tenderly held her hand.

Thomas rolled his eyes. He had just begun to eat when he caught sight of Freddie walking into the room. He gave him a smile which Freddie returned, though to Thomas's disappointment he sat down next to Mr Bates and began chatting to him. Thomas sighed and took a long gulp of his tea holding out his cup for Ivy to refill.

Just then Alfred and Jimmy walked into the room looking like they had just returned from a funeral.

"So I take it you're staying?" asked Thomas.

The pair nodded glumly. Alfred tried to offer a smile to Ivy who promptly turned around and stalked away making him look even more miserable.

Jimmy glanced up at Thomas shyly watching as the older man chewed his toast. But as Thomas caught his eye Jimmy quickly looked down again and began to butter a scone. He couldn't stop thinking of his dream from last night. He wished he could talk to Thomas about it. He decided to make an effort to be nicer to him today. Then maybe this evening when they were alone he could try and bring it up somehow.

Thomas sighed once more and rose from the table pulling out his packet of cigarettes and heading outside to smoke.

Jimmy quickly finished his scone and stood up to follow Thomas outside trying to ignore Freddie's watchful gaze.

Thomas glanced in surprise as he saw Jimmy approach him.

"Morning Thomas."

Thomas nodded his head in reply. It was getting cold and he had just been about to leave but Jimmy's presence caused him to stay and light up another cigarette.

"Thanks again for the food last night".

"It was nothing".

Jimmy stood in silence for a few more agonizing minutes before he worked up the courage.

"I wondered if you wanted to do something tonight."

"I don't know. I might already have plans" Thomas could feel himself blush as he thought about what those plans might entail. Jimmy stared at Thomas's blush in surprise before feeling his expression darken.

"Of course" he muttered coldly. "You probably want to spend your time with _him"._ Jimmy suddenly remembered he was trying to be nice. "Well maybe I could join you."

Thomas suddenly couldn't help himself and burst out laughing trying and failing to hide his embarrassment as his mind suddenly conjured up the image of the three of them together.

Jimmy suddenly turned bright red "I didn't mean… I don't want to... I was talking about playing cards for heaven's sake!"

Thomas tried to control himself enjoying how flustered Jimmy was getting. "Of course you were" he consoled. "Let's just wait and see eh?"

Jimmy still hot with embarrassment just nodded.

"I'm going inside its bloody freezing" said Thomas still chuckling as he made his way back to the servants' hall.

Jimmy groaned. How could he be so stupid? He took a deep breath and resolved to try again later. But he took one thing away from the disastrous encounter. He didn't know how he felt about Thomas but he knew he definitely didn't want him to spend the night with Reid. As he walked back inside he resolved to keep them apart by any means necessary.

…..

Later during the day Thomas was down in the wine cellar doing inventory when he heard a creak on the stairs. He turned around surprised to see Freddie smiling at him.

"There you are. I've been looking for you all day".

Thomas felt his stomach flutter at Freddie's words but schooled his face into a more serious expression.

"Were you? I thought you were avoiding me Mr Reid."

Freddie smirked at Thomas's reaction. "I just wanted to give you your space. I didn't want to influence your decision. Or have you already made up your mind?"

Thomas swallowed loudly. "Well I… that is I hadn't…"

"I see" said Freddie. "Well maybe I was wrong".

Thomas glanced nervously at Freddie. It was stupid of him to be undecided. He was never going to have with Jimmy what he could have with Freddie. And Freddie was only here for one more night, he should be enjoying their last few hours together not day dreaming about some fantasy affair with Jimmy that was never going to happen. He wasn't ready to give Freddie up at least not yet. But it looked like the decision was about to be taken out of his hands.

"Wrong?" asked Thomas anxiously.

"Yes I was wrong." Suddenly Freddie stepped forward and pulled Thomas close to him. "Maybe I should be trying to influence your decision."

With that Freddie took hold of Thomas's waistcoat and kissed him.

Thomas let his inventory book clatter to the floor as he embraced Freddie and pulled him deeper into the cellar.

Once they were nestled behind a large stack of shelving Thomas began to unbutton his trousers.

"Does this mean you've made up your mind?" gasped Freddie in between kisses.

"Yes" whispered Thomas. "Only I don't think I can wait until tonight".

Freddie's eyes burned at Thomas's words and he quickly complied, pulling his trousers down to his ankles and turning around bracing his hands against a shelf holding a selection of French wines.

Thomas wrenched his own trousers down and positioned himself behind Freddie.

The pair groaned as Thomas pushed inside him.

"Finally!" gasped Freddie.

Thomas slowly began thrusting in and out of Freddie reaching around to stroke him in unison with his thrusts. The two moved together with increased vigour and with every thrust the wine bottles on the shelf Freddie was gripping jingled softly. Suddenly Thomas gave one final thrust and moaned as he came inside Freddie. Freddie's own climax followed only seconds later as he leaned back into Thomas who kissed his neck.

"That was definitely worth the wait" whispered Freddie turning around to kiss Thomas fully. Thomas was surprised when Freddie suddenly leapt back looking in horror over Thomas's shoulder. Thomas whipped his head around and felt his own face mimic Freddie's when he caught sight of Jimmy staring at them as though traumatized.

"Jimmy wait!" called Thomas but it was too late. Jimmy had quickly turned and fled up the stairs tripping in his haste to exit the cellar.

"Damn it" muttered Thomas quickly pulling his trousers up and smoothing his hair. "I have to find him."

"No" said Freddie who had also pulled up his trousers and was now tucking in his shirt. "You stay here and finish whatever you were doing I'll go talk to him". He paused to plant one last kiss on Thomas's mouth but he pulled away quickly glancing back at the staircase as though expecting the police to come storming down the stairs.

"It will be ok Thomas" said Freddie soothingly trying to ignore the hurt he felt at Thomas's reaction. "I'll go talk to him".

With that he too ran up the stairs in search of Jimmy.

Thomas put his head in his hands as he tried to hold back his tears. He'd really blown it this time. He couldn't get the look Jimmy had given him out of his mind. The hurt and anger in his expression had been almost too awful to bear. Thomas's body shook with his sobs as heavy tears rolled down his cheeks.

…..


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 New discoveries**.

"Jimmy wait!"

Jimmy heard Thomas call to him even before he'd fully turned but he didn't stop. He ran up the stairs tripping and banging his knee off the hard step as he did so. He gasped at the pain but kept running. He ran out of the cellar through the kitchen where he almost knocked over a very angry Mrs Patmore.

"Careful Jimmy!"

But Jimmy ignored her. He sprinted out of the backdoor and didn't stop until he reached the garage. He knew the chauffeur was out with the family for the day so he wouldn't be disturbed. Once he was inside Jimmy slumped to the floor his chest heaving. He rubbed ferociously at his eyes. He was _not _going to cry. But he couldn't rub the image of Thomas and Freddie together away. As he remembered the way Thomas had kissed Freddie's neck it all became too much for him. He only just managed to stagger to the door before he was sick into one of the flower beds.

"Are you alright?"

The last person Jimmy wanted to see when he was vomiting into a flowerbed with his eyes streaming was Freddie Reid.

"Stay away from me" he warned. "I swear if you take one more step I'll make sure you regret it".

"Ok" said Freddie holding up his hands in surrender. "I just wanted to check on you".

"Why? You don't have to worry I already told Thomas I'd keep your dirty little secret".

Freddie looked at Jimmy, really looked at him and for the first time he didn't see the arrogant exterior but someone who was confused and upset and hurting. As much as he hated to admit it, Freddie couldn't help feel guilty looking at Jimmy.

"I guess he's lucky to have such a good friend."

Jimmy scoffed. Scoffing was good. It was hard to cry when you scoffed.

"Yeah that's me" muttered Jimmy "one hell of a friend".

"I think there's more to it than that" murmured Freddie risking taking a step closer. When Jimmy didn't protest he went to kneel down beside him. "I think you really care about him".

Jimmy said nothing. He turned his head trying to wipe his eyes without Freddie noticing.

"Look Jimmy I'm sorry if I upset you, really I am."

Jimmy couldn't ignore the sincerity in his voice and so he nodded hoping Freddie would leave it at that and walk away. But instead he settled down next to Jimmy and rubbing his hands nervously on the grass as if trying to decide whether or not to continue.

"The thing is Jimmy; I've been where you are. I know how confusing it is. So, if you want to talk I'll listen."

Jimmy flushed at what Freddie was insinuating. "It's not like that… I don't… I mean I'm not…" Jimmy stuttered highly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. But Jimmy couldn't pass up the chance to speak to someone, anyone. Even Mr Reid. Jimmy cleared his throat and asked the question he had been dreading the answer to,

"Do you love him?"

Freddie looked shocked at the question and seemed to take time to consider his answer.

"No. That's not to say I _couldn't_ love Thomas. But we hardly know each other."

Jimmy felt relieved but blushed thinking they seemed to _know_ each other pretty well in the wine cellar.

Freddie seeming to read Jimmy's mind blushed himself letting out a nervous laugh.

"WhatI'm trying to say is it's different. It's not like I can court him, take him out, or marry him. Sometimes you just have to enjoy what you can and I've enjoyed Thomas's company, very much so." Freddie smiled sadly at this. "Even if there's no future in it".

"Then why do it?" asked Jimmy. "Why risk it?"

"Just because there's no future doesn't mean we can't enjoy the short time we have together. Doesn't mean I don't still need it. The companionship and the affection, there's a lot worth risking for."

Jimmy had never thought of it like that. When Thomas had kissed him that night, all Jimmy had seen was the physical side of it. He'd never really thought Thomas had any other intention. The few times Jimmy had considered the future, as something distant and far off, he'd always considered he'd marry some girl and have children. He could see the same for Daisy or Ivy or even Alfred. But Thomas could never have that.

"It must be lonely" said Jimmy mostly to himself.

"Are you lonely Jimmy?"

Jimmy jerked his head up in surprise. Was he? He'd never really considered himself as such. He was always surrounded by people. He had charm and looks which always helps. But he supposed since Freddie had taken Thomas's attention away from him in the last few days he had felt lonely.

Freddie silently watched the wheels in Jimmy's head turning. He knew all too well the realisation Jimmy was facing and what it would lead to. While accepting who he was was never something Freddie regretted, it came at a cost. Jimmy at least would be luckier because he would have Thomas to help him through it.

"Maybe you should go find Thomas" said Freddie getting to his feet. "I'm sure you have a lot to say to him and he's probably worried sick about you".

Jimmy accepted Freddie's outstretched hand and allowed himself to be dragged to his feet.

A faint gong could be heard in the distance.

"Uh oh" said Freddie. "That's the dressing gong we better run or Carson will have our heads."

…..

Thomas sat at the table smoking furiously. Where the hell were they? He kept checking the door every few seconds hoping they would turn up. Carson was fuming and Jimmy was already in enough trouble as it was and Mr Cartwright had asked a hall boy to see what the delay was with Freddie.

"Where do you suppose Mr Reid is, Mr Barrow?" asked Mrs Patmore coming to sit down next to Thomas.

"How should I know" replied Thomas angrily. "I'm not his keeper."

"Ooh excuse me your majesty! I was only asking!"

"Sorry" muttered Thomas.

"Only it seemed you two were getting on so well these past few days" she continued suggestively. "What happened, lovers quarrel?"

Thomas just stared at her coldly. "Isn't that your soufflés burning Mrs Patmore?"

"Oh have it your way then" she sighed heaving herself up and walking quickly into the kitchen screaming at Daisy to check the oven as she went.

She had no sooner left then Freddie burst into the room panting heavily. But before Thomas could say two words to him Carson appeared demanding to know where he'd been.

"I'm terribly sorry Mr Carson. I was taking a walk and lost track of time"

"Well you had better head up at one Lord Cartwright has been enquiring as to your whereabouts."

"Right away Mr Carson" and shooting an apologetic look at Thomas he raced up the stairs.

Moments later Mrs Hughes entered the servants' hall.

"Ah there you are Mr Carson I was just looking to tell you that I've sent James up to bed he's not well at all I'm afraid".

Mr Carson looked fit to explode. "Please tell me Mrs Hughes how I am to be expected to carry off a dinner with only one footman!"

Mrs Hughes narrowed her eyes dangerously "I'm sure you wouldn't begrudge the poor boy some rest. He looked quite a state".

"I can serve, Mr Carson" volunteered Thomas wanting to defuse the situation before Carson marched upstairs and dragged Jimmy down to work.

The pair stared at Thomas in shock. It was very uncharacteristic of him to offer extra help no matter what the situation.

Mrs Hughes seemed to recover first. "Thank you very much Mr Barrow that is very generous of you".

…..

Thomas was once again sat at the table awaiting his own dinner. Dinner service had been tedious and Thomas had found himself drifting off for most of it. He couldn't stop thinking about Jimmy and how he must be feeling. It must be pretty bad if Mrs Hughes sent him to bed. Mrs Patmore was laying the plates as Freddie walked into the room catching Thomas's eye.

"Fancy a quick smoke before dinner?" he asked already heading to the back door.

"Sure" replied Thomas trying to ignore Mrs Patmore's knowing smirk as he followed Freddie outside.

The pair walked as far as they could away from the door to avoid being overheard.

"How's Jimmy?" Thomas asked anxiously.

Freddie pretended to look affronted "a gentleman would ask how _I_ was first, Mr Barrow."

"Don't play games Freddie. What did he say?"

"Calm down. He promised he wouldn't say anything so you don't have to worry about that at least."

"Yes but how _was _he?!" asked Thomas growing more frustrated.

Freddie sighed "He was… confused."

"Confused?"

"Yes he was very shook up over the whole thing. It must be difficult to see someone you love with another man. Especially when you haven't admitted that you're in love with him. Even to yourself."

"Freddie we've been through this Jimmy doesn't love me!" though Thomas could feel his heart rate increase at the thought.

"Yes he does" said Freddie staring Thomas in the eye as he spoke. "The question is what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean do about it? I'm not going to do anything about it! I've been down this road before. Even if I believed you - and I'm not saying I do- I'd have to wait for Jimmy to make the first move."

"Well then I hope you're a patient man because you'll be waiting a very long time. Come on Thomas it's taken him this long to even consider the idea and that's only because he caught us together and he got jealous. If I hadn't shown up he would have went on denying it for years."

Thomas took a deep breath still reluctant to allow himself to believe it could be true. Could jimmy really love him?

"So what do you think I should do?"

Freddie smiled "baby steps Thomas. Why don't you start by talking to him after dinner. It's going to take time."

Thomas looked at Freddie fondly "You don't seem to be putting up much of a fight for me" he joked.

Freddie grinned "and why would I? I already got everything I needed from you in the wine cellar!"

Thomas laughed and shoved Freddie playfully.

"When you to have quite finished you might grace us with your presence at dinner" called Mrs Patmore from the doorway.

"Coming Mrs Patmore" called Freddie still smiling as he walked past her.

Thomas followed grinning but felt a hand on his arm and looked up to find Mrs Patmore eyeing him "You seem in much better spirits Mr Barrow."

"Oh Mrs Patmore, you have no idea" …

**Authors Note**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed my story. To be honest when I first began writing this I had no intention of having Jimmy in the story at all so I'm quite surprised with how things are turning out. I love this pairing and hope we see some development on their relationship in the 2013 Christmas special! Keep reviewing!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 Sweet Memories**

Thomas stood in the yard smoking. It was after midnight and most of the servants had gone to bed ages ago. He'd sat up reading his paper as one by one they'd wandered off, the Bates' heading off home to their cottage, Mr Carson had retired to his office and even Freddie had gone up, but not before telling him he expected a full report in the morning before he left. That was well over an hour ago but Thomas still remained downstairs. Every time he made up his mind to go and talk to Jimmy he remembered the footman's face when he'd caught them in the wine cellar. Thomas hadn't had a chance to speak to him since then, so he had no idea what sort of reception he would receive when he did. Would he be angry? Upset? Disgusted?

Jealous?

Even as he thought it Thomas brushed the notion aside. He still couldn't, wouldn't, let himself think that way. Not until Jimmy told him himself would Thomas believe it was true. Despite this he could feel his lips curl up into a smile as he allowed the fantasy to briefly take over. He would go upstairs knock on Jimmy's door, the footman would promptly kiss him, tell him he loved him and they would have fantastic sex on Jimmy's single bed and live happily ever after. Thomas chuckled to himself.

"Oh Mr Barrow, I didn't realise you were still up".

Mrs Hughes spoke from the doorway smiling kindly at the under butler.

"You're in luck, I was just about to lock up I thought everyone was in bed".

"I should be heading up as well" Thomas replied smiling heading towards the door.

"Well off you go then it will be an early start tomorrow with the Cartwrights' departure. I expect you'll be sorry to see Mr Reid go?"

Thomas started, first Mrs Patmore and now Mrs Hughes? He seriously needed to reassess his ability to be discreet.

"Well don't let me keep you" said Mrs Hughes smiling to herself and making a shooing gesture to Thomas who glanced back nervously at the housekeeper as he began climbing the stairs.

"Oh and Thomas?" Thomas turned around surprised to hear her use his first name.

"Yes Mrs Hughes?"

"I do hope your better mood continues even after Mr Reid has left. It's a welcome change to see you happy".

Thomas was at a loss for words and so he gave Mrs Hughes a brief nod before scurrying up the stairs hoping she would be the last person to comment on his love life.

As he made his way down the corridor to his room he hesitated outside Jimmy's door. He pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. It was half twelve, surely Jimmy was asleep? He gave the door a tentative knock. When Jimmy didn't answer he turned to walk away when suddenly he heard a whisper from the footman's bedroom.

"Thomas".

Had he not been standing outside the door Thomas wouldn't have heard it. He knocked softly once more not wanting the other servants to wake up.

"Jimmy?" Thomas whispered as he placed his hand on the door knob unsure whether to enter or not.

"Thomas" he heard again "Come in".

Thomas turned the door knob and opened the door "Jimmy I just wanted to check if you were…?"

Thomas froze in shock at the sight before him as he stared open mouthed at the scene before him.

…..

_**Several hours earlier**__._

Jimmy and Freddie were sprinting across the grounds of Downton Abbey as they heard the dressing gong ring. Jimmy knew Mr Carson would be furious. He would probably demote him and make Alfred first footman. The thought made Jimmy's blood boil and he sprinted faster feeling his face flushing with the exertion. The pair were just approaching the entrance to the servants' hall when they almost ran straight into Mrs Hughes who was glaring at them with her arms folded.

"And where have you been?" she asked crossly.

"I'm so sorry Mrs Hughes" panted Freddie somehow still managing to sound charming despite his laboured breathing.

"You see James was rather unwell and I had to stay behind to help him out".

James flushed hotly embarrassed and annoyed that he was being sidled with the blame, though technically Freddie was telling the truth.

Mrs Hughes turned her attention to Jimmy. "Well you do looked rather flushed James" said Mrs Hughes not without some level of concern.

"I'm afraid he's been sick Mrs Hughes, that's why we were delayed, he wanted to get cleaned up."

"You better go up to bed so then James. We can't have you vomiting in the dining hall."

"Yes Mrs Hughes" replied James relieved that he wasn't in trouble. "But what about Mr Carson?" he asked worriedly. He wouldn't be surprised if the butler were to demote him anyway even if he were suffering from plague.

"You leave Mr Carson to me" said Mrs Hughes smiling slightly "But you Mr Reid had best get a move on."

"Right away Mr Hughes" Freddie swiftly walked away but not before giving Jimmy a wink as he ducked into the servants' hall.

"Go and get some rest James, I'll send up some soup for you later if your stomach has settled."

"Thank you Mrs Hughes" said Jimmy hoping his gratitude showed.

Mrs Hughes just smiled at him kindly before returning to the servants' hall. Jimmy mean while crept up to bed thankfully without meeting anyone along the way.

…..

After Jimmy had washed and eaten his tea he lay on his bed for hours trying to sleep but no matter how much he tossed and turned sleep wouldn't come. His mind raced as he thought back to his talk with Freddie. He thought about how Freddie had implied that Jimmy was like him and Thomas. But he couldn't be that sort, could he? He'd never thought of it before. Surely if he liked men he would know it by now. But even as he tried to deny it his mind drew up past memories of his time working for Lady Anstruther.

He knew the dowager was pretty and that she favoured him. He loved the attention she gave him and he knew the other male servants were incredibly jealous which only made it sweeter. But he'd never thought of her as anything more than his employer, though she'd certainly hinted that she had wanted him to view her as more than that. She used to have him accompany her on walks through the gardens on the estate. He would carry her sun umbrella while she would flirt shamelessly with him. But while she would talk his mind would stray and he would often stare at the gardeners working.

There was one in particular who always caught Jimmy's eye. He was as handsome as Jimmy and had he been working as a servant inside the house Jimmy knew he would have been filled with jealousy. But as he only ever worked in the gardens Jimmy could ignore his competitiveness, and even grew to admire and appreciate the beauty of the young man. They never spoke but Jimmy would look forward to those dreadfully dull walks just to catch a glimpse of him. Once when he was walking Lady Anstruther past where the man was digging a new flower bed she stopped to admire the roses which had just begun to bloom. The gardener paused and glanced up at Jimmy smirking, as though he and Jimmy were sharing some kind of joke. As Lady Anstruther had reached for Jimmy's arm the gardener quickly returned to his work as though nothing had happened. Jimmy had felt his heart rate increase and he could feel himself getting hard. He told himself it was a reaction to Lady Anstruther's touch and not the silent exchange with the gardener, but now he couldn't deny the fact he had been attracted to the man. It was the same feeling he felt when he thought of Thomas.

His mind returned to what he had witnessed earlier that day in the cellar. Without taking time to think about what he was about to do too much, Jimmy closed his eyes as he drew up the image of Thomas and Freddie together. His hand reached down as he began to stroke himself at the memory. He felt his breathing quicken as he matched his strokes with Thomas's imagined thrusts. He tried to imagine himself in Freddie's position, how it would feel to have Thomas inside him.

Jimmy opened his eyes and stood up pulling off his pyjama bottoms and tossing them on the floor. He lay back down on the bed and spread his legs pulling his knees apart while keeping his feet flat on the bed. He slid his hand down over his stomach passed his hard cock down to his opening. Using a finger he pushed gently. He met with some resistance and so withdrew his finger and began to suck on it, letting his saliva coat in generously. When he was satisfied it was well lubricated he brought his finger once more to his opening. This time his finger slid in with more ease and Jimmy groaned in ecstasy at the sensation. He added another finger and felt his hips buck at the painful yet not at all unpleasant addition. He continued to work his fingers in and out while his other hand resumed stroking his cock.

He imagined his fingers were Thomas's. That Thomas was here with him, pleasuring him. He became so involved in this fantasy that he didn't hear a knock at his door.

"Oh Thomas!" he groaned increasing the pace of his fingers.

He could feel himself getting close and thrust his hips upwards squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation.

"Oh God Thomas! I'm coming!"

He gasped as he felt himself come all over himself. Not even caring about trying to minimise the mess on the bed sheets. He sighed blissfully and opened his eyes to see none other than Thomas staring at him from the door way with a look of shock on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 Friends?**

As soon as their eyes met Jimmy jerked forwards trying to cover himself. Unfortunately his legs had become wrapped up in the bed sheets and upon pulling sharply on them. Jimmy managed to topple himself off the bed banging his heavily on the bedside table as he did so.

"Damn!" he reached up to nurse what was sure to be a large bump on his head when he felt a warm liquid trickling down his neck.

Thomas had been about to turn and leave but he paused as he saw the damage.

"Are you ok?" asked Thomas feeling his medical corps training kick in.

"I'm fine! Just go away!"

The blood from Jimmy's wound was continuing to flow covering the back of his undershirt.

Thomas closed the door behind him and took a step further into the room.

"At least let me look at it, you might need stitches."

Jimmy wanted to protest but he could feel his head swimming and knew he would need some kind of medical assistance.

"Alright" murmured Jimmy, "But stay there and turn around."

Thomas fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned around while Jimmy frantically tried to pull on his pyjama bottoms with his head spinning.

"No peaking" warned Jimmy.

Thomas couldn't help but smile at this. Really, what more could he see?

"Decent yet" asked Thomas turning around to see the footman dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Thomas grew concerned at the dazed look his eyes and walked over to Jimmy's dresser quickly taking out several handkerchiefs, he then brought Jimmy's wash basin over to the bed placing it down and trying to ignore the stained bed sheets. He took off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He then submerged one of the handkerchiefs in the basin and wrung it out before trying to clean the blood from Jimmy's hair to find the source of the wound. He knew he'd found it when Jimmy muttered a faint "ouch". He gently cleaned the area to reveal a small jagged cut.

"It's not too bad" said Thomas. "Head injuries always bleed a lot but it's only a small cut really." Keeping one hand firmly holding a clean handkerchief to Jimmy's head Thomas moved so that he could examine Jimmy's face. "How do you feel?" he asked worried by Jimmy's vacant expression.

"Dizzy."

"You might have a concussion; do you feel like you're going to get sick?"

Jimmy began to shake his head but Thomas placed his other hand firmly on his cheek.

"Don't move your head yet."

Jimmy could feel his face warm at the sudden contact.

"I'm just going to run downstairs and grab some gauze." Thomas was nervous about leaving Jimmy alone, but the sooner his head was properly bandaged the better. "Just stay here and don't move and whatever you do don't fall asleep. I'll be right back." He gave Jimmy one last look of assessment before turning and exiting the room.

Jimmy sat on the bed wishing more than anything the ground would swallow him up. The situation was a complete disaster. It wasn't as if Jimmy could deny what he had been doing, Thomas had had a front row seat to the finale. He closed his eyes and shook his head before remembering he wasn't supposed to move.

Moments later Thomas returned gauze in hand. He deftly bandaged Jimmy's head and satisfied with his work he began to clear away the soiled handkerchiefs and wash basin.

"Thanks" said Jimmy "I should be alright now" hinting that Thomas could leave.

Thomas only smiled "I'm afraid you won't get rid of me that easy. I'll stay with you for another little while just to make sure you don't pass out."

Thomas pulled Jimmy's desk chair over and sat down. "Besides, it will give us a chance to talk."

Jimmy stared down at his hands he had hoped they could just forget about what had just happened. The last thing he felt like doing was explaining to Thomas why he had been doing what he did.

Thomas cleared his throat nervously. "I wanted to talk about what you saw in the wine cellar."

Jimmy blinked in surprise. He had almost forgotten catching Thomas and Freddie together. Despite his embarrassment Jimmy felt a small sense of triumph that he hadn't been the only one caught with his trousers down.

"I guess this kind of makes us even" he said laughing nervously.

Despite himself Thomas smiled. But he schooled his face determined to apologise to Jimmy about what had happened.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you saw."

Jimmy could feel his heart clench as he once more experienced the same hurt causing him to unconsciously rub his chest. It was his own fault really. He'd known Thomas was in the wine cellar, he'd been there when Mr Carson had asked him to take inventory. He had just finished serving tea for the Ladies upstairs when he'd seen Freddie follow Thomas into the cellar. It had taken him several moments to extract himself from the kitchen where Ivy, who still wouldn't speak to him, had refused to take his tray and he had to wait for Daisy to finish her prep work for the dinner before she finally took it. As soon as he was free he had hurried to find Thomas already trying to formulate any kind of excuse to pull him away from Freddie but he stopped in his tracks upon witnessing the pair together. In that moment Jimmy felt his world turned upside down. The jealousy and hurt he'd felt had re-opened memories and feelings he had long since suppressed. He had been angry with Thomas for forcing him to realise this, forcing him to re-examine who he was. Because if he was like Thomas in _that_ way what did it say about him? He'd tried to have the man fired even threatened to call the police. What was to stop someone doing the same to him if they ever found out that he…? That he what? _Loved_ Thomas?

Jimmy glanced briefly up at Thomas who was staring at him with a worried expression anxious to hear whatever Jimmy had to say. As he gazed at the under butler Jimmy felt a multitude of feelings happiness, friendship, desire, lust. But love? No. He did not love the under butler but recalling his conversation with Freddie he realised that it would be all too easy to fall in love with Mr Barrow if he gave himself the opportunity.

"There's nothing to apologise for."

Thomas let out the breath he'd been holding. Relief flooded his body and he felt himself grinning stupidly.

"So… friends?"

"Ye" smiled Jimmy "Friends."

The two chatted amiably for another half an hour punctuated occasionally by a stifled yawn from Thomas.

"Just go to bed" said Jimmy. "I'm feeling much better now I don't even think I need the bandage anymore" Jimmy reached up to untie the gauze when Thomas firmly grasped his wrist.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. At least keep it on for the rest of the night and I'll check it in the morning."

Thomas realised he was still holding Jimmy's wrist. To cover up any awkwardness he released his grip on the footman's arm and stood up to check the bandage was still secure.

"Your undershirt's ruined" he muttered staring down at the back of Jimmy's top which was covered with dried blood. "You should probably just dump it they'll never be able to clean it properly".

Jimmy made to take off his shirt.

"Careful!" said Thomas in exasperation. "What do I keep telling you, mind your head!"

"Well help me then!" Jimmy sighed somewhat angrily, annoyed by Thomas's over cautiousness.

Thomas hesitated briefly before gripping the bottom of Jimmy's undershirt. He slowly lifted it as far as the footman's elbows.

"Take your arms out first"

Jimmy removed his arms from the sleeves feeling his heart rate increase as he did so. They were standing just inches apart and the proximity was having an effect on both of them.

"That's it" whispered Thomas once Jimmy's arms were free. Thomas stretched the fabric along the collar of the shirt so as not to brush off the bandages as he slipped the shirt over Jimmy's head.

"Do you have another?" asked Thomas still whispering.

"Second drawer."

Thomas moved over to Jimmy's dresser and extracted a new shirt.

He turned around struck for a moment by the sheer beauty of a shirtless Jimmy. Walking back over to the bed he instructed Jimmy to raise his arms. Jimmy complied as Thomas gently pulled the undershirt over his arms and head, gasping quietly as Thomas's hands skimmed over his ribcage.

Jimmy stared at Thomas's lips which were now only centimetres away from his own. He willed Thomas to kiss him but he saw uncertainty staring back at him. This was it. He would have to make the first move. Jimmy felt his heart pound as he moved his face marginally closer to Thomas's. Just as Jimmy leaned in Thomas sprang back drawing himself up to full height. Jimmy blinked at the under butler's sudden movement.

"I should let you sleep" said Thomas his words coming out in a raspy voice.

"I'll come back in the morning to check on you."

"Oh ok. Good night then."

Thomas gave Jimmy one last searching look before he too bid Jimmy a good night and went to his room.

…..

Back in his own room Thomas began to undress his mind replaying the last hour. He glanced at his pocket watch and saw that it was almost two. He closed his eyes tiredly trying to ignore the fact that he would be woken in just a few short hours. He finished undressing not at all surprised to find himself completely hard. But rather than give himself some relief Thomas chose to endure the uncomfortableness and climbed into bed. He would look at it as a punishment for almost allowing himself to lose control. He closed his eyes remembering how close he had been to kissing Jimmy. Just for a moment, he had thought Jimmy had wanted him to. That he'd even tried to initiate it. Thomas rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Oh Jimmy" he sighed "you'll be the end of me." Suddenly Thomas sat bolt upright all wariness vanished. He placed a hand on his chest in an effort to ease his rapid breathing. _Oh Thomas_. That's what Jimmy had said. That's what made Thomas go in to Jimmy's room and catch him…

Thomas took a deep shuddering breath trying to calm himself. Why would Jimmy say that? He wouldn't, unless he'd been imagining Thomas while he was masturbating. The thought sent a jolt to his naval. For the first time he allowed himself to believe what Freddie had been telling him. Maybe Jimmy did like him. Maybe he had a chance.

….

Jimmy watched Thomas leave wishing more than anything that he would stay. He stood up walking over to the mirror where he could examine Thomas's handiwork. He groaned as he saw the state of his hair, half of which was sticking up in all directions with the other half plastered to his skull with sweat and dried blood. No wonder Thomas ran away thought Jimmy gloomily. He turned around spotting Thomas's jacket which he had left resting on the back of Jimmy's desk chair. Jimmy picked it up and slipped it on. It was a little long in the arms and a little roomy in the middle but Jimmy pulled it tight around him inhaling deeply. He climbed back into bed closing his eyes and, still wearing Thomas's jacket, fell asleep to the smell of cigarettes, cologne and pomade.

**A/N Thanks everyone for reading and for your reviews. Every time I get a new review it helps motivate me to write more so please keep reviewing! I hope you like the direction the story is going in. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 More Then Friends**

**A/N Hi everyone thanks again for all your encouragement. I know some of you are frustrated by the pace that Thomas and Jimmy's relationship is progressing but I think given the time period and the consequences of such a relationship coupled with Jimmy's uncertainty about his sexuality, it would be unrealistic if he and Thomas became a couple without some reluctance on Jimmy's part. But I promise there will be further developments from here on out so try and be patient! Once again thanks to everyone for continuing to read and review. **

Thomas woke to the sound of one of the hall boys banging on his door.

"Six o clock!"

Thomas groaned and rolled onto his stomach wishing more than anything that he could fall back asleep. With a jolt he remembered he had promised to check on Jimmy. He sprang out of bed and quickly got dressed it was only when he fastened the final button of his waistcoat that he realised he had left his jacket in Jimmy's room. He left his room and headed towards Jimmy's room. He nodded at Alfred as he passed him. Alfred gave him a suspicious glance when he saw him stop at Jimmy's door but he continued down to breakfast without comment.

Thomas was just raising his hand to knock when the door opened and he was face to face with Jimmy.

"Morning" said Jimmy, Thomas's jacket in his hand.

"You took the bandages off" said Thomas with some disappointment noticing the footman's damp hair and bandage free head.

"Well I had to wash the blood out of my hair or Carson would have skinned me alive. Anyway I thought you'd forgotten about me I've been up for an hour at least." He handed Thomas his jacket hoping he wouldn't notice he had slept with it on.

"You could have woken me" said Thomas shrugging into the sleeves sounding wincing slightly when he realised he was sounding like a sulking child.

"Don't pout" grinned Jimmy reaching forward to button up Thomas's jacket. "You're just sorry you can't boss me around anymore."

Thomas recovered himself and fixed Jimmy with his sternest look. "The last time I checked _James_ I was your superior therefore I can boss you around as much as I want."

"Yes Mr Barrow" said Jimmy removing his hands from the under butler's uniform and offering a salute.

The two broke apart as Mr Carson rounded the corner and fixed them both with a glare. "Shouldn't you be getting to breakfast?"

"Yes Mr Carson" they chorused.

"I assume you have recovered James and there will no further sudden bouts of illness?"

James flushed slightly. "No Mr Carson. I'm fit as a fiddle."

"See that you stay that way or I will no choice but to reassess your promotion to first footman."

As soon as he was out of earshot Jimmy began cursing Carson hotly.

"Never mind him" said Thomas soothingly. "He's been in a bad mood since the dinner yesterday. The Cartwrights' have invited themselves back for Lady Edith's birthday next month and it's messed up his planning arrangements. Anyway let's go down to breakfast before there's nothing left".

Jimmy just nodded still sore about Carson's comments but silently followed the under butler downstairs.

….

"So, are you going to miss me?" Freddie asked gazing at Thomas through a haze of smoke. The two were standing in the yard Freddie who had finished packing was waiting for the Cartwrights' to finish their breakfast before they all departed.

"Well I can't deny I've enjoyed your company" said Thomas inhaling deeply from his cigarette.

"I should hope so. But still, I'll be back in a month. His Lordship tells me Lady Cartwright is quite taken with Lady Edith so who knows, maybe we'll be seeing a lot more of one another in the future".

Thomas gazed at Freddie in surprise. Had Freddie made this pronouncement a few days previous Thomas would have jumped with glee. But there was no denying there was something blossoming between him and Jimmy and he didn't want anything to come between them.

"I thought you'd had enough of me" said Thomas trying to gage whether Freddie was merely teasing.

Freddie took a step closer to Thomas. "Oh I don't think I could ever have enough of you Thomas".

Thomas gave him a searching look. Was this the same person who only yesterday had been trying to convince him Jimmy was in love with him?

Freddie seemed to guess his thinking. "Don't get me wrong, honestly I wish you and Jimmy the best of luck. But let's be realistic, he's new to all this it's going to take time for the two of you to have what we had. You may find secret glances and handholding will only get you so far. In a month's time you could be desperate for something… more."

Thomas gave Freddie a cold glare. "I can be very patient."

"So can I" smiled Freddie, "Especially for something I want."

He chuckled softly at Thomas's cool expression. Freddie gave him one last chaste kiss on the cheek as he left not before adding,

"I'll see you in a month."

…

The next week passed without much incident. Thomas and Jimmy had spoken no further about their almost kiss but Thomas still held out hope that something would happen. Jimmy definitely seemed to be testing his limits. He sat next to Thomas for almost every meal, they were regularly the last to leave the servants hall having spent the night laughing and talking and Jimmy had become more tactile. His fingers would graze Thomas's when he passed him the salt at dinner, their knees would touch under the table, but there was still a distance between them. As much as Jimmy longed to get closer to Thomas his past actions made him reluctant to. He couldn't think of one person (except for Thomas himself) who would stand up for Jimmy if the police came knocking. He wished they could go back to the night Jimmy had banged his head. He hadn't had time to think of everything that could go wrong. He needed to try and recreate that closeness, that _rightness_ but he couldn't think of a way to do so without throwing himself down the stairs. He was sure if he and Thomas were alone again he would be able to find the courage to act. But he couldn't formulate a plan to get Thomas alone in his room that wouldn't be such an obvious invitation. And what if he couldn't do it? He didn't want to lose Thomas as a friend. There had to be some way of getting him alone and letting things happen naturally. The idea came to him that night when having settled at the piano he heard Mr Bates and Thomas arguing. Somehow something about stolen wine came into conversation which led Jimmy to formulate a plan.

….

The next night Jimmy was sitting at the table with Thomas playing cards. Almost everyone had gone to bed except for Mrs Patmore who was in the kitchen banging pots around trying to find where she had left her list of menus for the coming week.

"What's the matter with you?" asked Thomas. It was the third time he'd asked him that but Jimmy had shrugged the question off each time.

"Nothing" he replied for the third time.

"Well something's up. You're sweating bullets and you've lost the last three rounds which would usually mean you'd have stormed off in a huff by now."

Jimmy glared at him affronted "I don't _storm off in a huff_!"

"Oh yes you do" smirked Thomas. "You're an extremely poor loser."

Mrs Patmore, to Jimmy's relief, appeared to have found her menus and headed up to bed calling goodnight to the pair as she left.

Thomas threw down his cards. "I'm going out for a smoke" he made to stand up but Jimmy reached forward to take his hand.

"No don't"

"Why?" Thomas asked perplexed.

Jimmy lowered his voice glancing nervously around the room.

"I've got a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" asked Thomas his interest piqued.

"I can't tell you here. It's up in my room. Come on up and I'll show you."

Jimmy rose and picked up his cards before heading to the stairs. He turned around when he reached the bottom step to see Thomas hadn't moved.

"Are you coming?"

Thomas stared back wordlessly twirling his unlit cigarette in his fingers. "Alright. As long as you let me smoke."

The pair headed up to Jimmy's room Thomas hesitating briefly in the doorway. Jimmy strolled quickly over to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He glanced back to see Thomas was still standing in the doorway and instructed him to come in and close the door. Thomas complied and walked further into the room. Jimmy reached into the back of the drawer and pulled out a bottle of wine.

"Where did you get that?" asked Thomas in surprise.

"Nicked it" grinned Jimmy triumphantly.

"You know Carson counts those bottles don't you?"

The grin slid comically from Jimmy's face and was replaced with a mask of horror.

"Should I put it back?" he asked nervously.

"Nah. I'll just tell him I miscounted last time I did inventory" said Thomas shrugging." Seems a shame to waste it now" he indicated that Jimmy should open it.

Jimmy pulled a bottle opener from his dresser and opened the wine offering the bottle to Thomas.

"I'm afraid I don't have any glasses."

"Never mind" said Thomas taking a large sip straight from the bottle before handing it back to Jimmy who took an equally large gulp.

"So what brought this on?" asked Thomas settling himself into Jimmy's desk chair, stretching out his legs and putting a cigarette to his mouth.

Jimmy took another sip from the bottle as he watched Thomas light his cigarette.

"Just felt like doing something nice."

"I didn't know you could be nice" said Thomas in mock surprise inhaling deeply on his cigarette.

"Occasionally" said Jimmy sarcastically.

"So it's not because you wanted to get me drunk?" asked Thomas jokingly raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Jimmy laughed hoping Thomas wouldn't notice his blush, because that was exactly Jimmy's intention. Or at least partly, he was trying to get himself drunk. His hope was the alcohol would loosen him up and maybe he could try and take things further.

Thomas noticed Jimmy's discomfort and worried maybe he'd gone too far. He stubbed out his cigarette and made to stand up.

"I should probably go"

Jimmy leapt up and gripped the under butler's arm.

"No! You can't go!"

Thomas stared at Jimmy, surprised by his reaction.

"I mean… you have to help me… destroy the evidence" Jimmy reached over to grab the bottle of wine which was still half full. He shook it for emphasis. "You can't go until it's empty" he sat back down on the bed pulling Thomas with him. "Friends don't let friends drink alone." Jimmy offered the bottle to a stunned Thomas who took it with a trembling hand and took another gulp.

"Well when you out it that way"

Jimmy grinned in triumph as he watched a drop of wine trickle from the corner of Thomas's mouth. Without thinking he lifted his hand and brushed the droplet with his thumb. He could feel Thomas freeze under his touch and he met his eyes warily. The two stared at each other silent for what felt like hours, Jimmy still with his hand on Thomas's chin. Just as Thomas was about to pull away he felt Jimmy crush his lips against his own. The kiss was brief and Jimmy pulled back slightly worried by Thomas unresponsiveness. He met Thomas eyes and leant in to kiss him once more. This time Thomas reacted more favourably. His lips parted slightly and he kissed Jimmy back fervently. Jimmy felt Thomas's hand snake around his waist pulling him closer. Their kiss deepened and Jimmy ran his hands over the older man's chest gripping his waistcoat and pulling him down to a lying position on Jimmy's bed. Thomas allowed himself to be pulled on top of the footman and felt his fingers loosen on the bottle of wine which was still clutched in his left hand.

The bottle fell to the floor with a bang causing the two to break apart. The pair were silent as they strained their ears and listened to see if anyone had been disturbed by the noise. After several seconds the house remained silent and Thomas let out a sigh of relief and bent down to retrieve the bottle which thankfully had not broken. But the interruption seemed to have broken the spell for Jimmy. Now that they were apart he could feel his doubts creeping in and though he was ashamed to admit it a part of him was disgusted by what they had done. Thomas glanced back at Jimmy and seemed to read it in his face.

"I should go" said Thomas for the second time that night, only this time Jimmy didn't try to stop him. He could see the hurt of his rejection in Thomas's eyes and wanted to get up and touch him or kiss him or give him some kind of reassurance but he couldn't. As Thomas smoothed his hair and adjusted his waistcoat he gave Jimmy one last sad smile before heading towards the door.

Jimmy watched him go and forced himself to speak up.

"Thomas"

The under butler paused with his hand on the door knob. He turned around to see Jimmy had risen from the bed but hadn't moved any closer.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry"

Thomas could feel his eyes sting and turned back towards the door.

"I'm not saying no." continued Jimmy. "I'm just saying not now."

Thomas forced himself to turn around to face Jimmy and was mystified as he saw tears streaming down the footman's face.

"It's alright Jimmy. I can wait. For as long as it takes."

He desperately wanted to go to Jimmy, to embrace him and wipe away his tears but he knew Jimmy would not welcome it. So he turned and left the room.

Jimmy waited until the door clicked closed until he sat down heavily on the bed and put his face in his hands. His body shaking with silent sobs.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N Hi guys, so sorry for the delay in posting this. My laptop crashed so I lost all my work! **** It took me a while to re-write this chapter and I added a few changes. Hope you enjoy!**

Jimmy yawned loudly as he fastened the final button on his waistcoat. He sat down on the bed heavily and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep much for the past few days. It had been three weeks since Thomas had left his room and they hadn't spoken since. At least nothing more than "good morning" and "good night" or "pass the salt". The silence was driving Jimmy crazy but he forced himself to endure it. Thomas took his lead from Jimmy and had kept his distance but Jimmy often caught the under butler staring anxiously at him. It was that worry that made Jimmy determined to keep silent. He had caused Thomas enough pain and grief and he refused to inflict anymore. He wouldn't speak to Thomas unless he could give him an answer about how he really felt about him. Until he was certain he resolved to stay away. Jimmy yawned once more before dragging himself to his feet and began to make his way down to breakfast.

Jimmy entered the servants' hall and noticed to his chagrin that he was the last to arrive. He settled quietly down next to Alfred who gave him a brief nod and shot him a look of warning. Jimmy was about to ask what Alfred meant when he caught sight of Mr Carson. The butler's face was bright red and he was having a hushed heated argument with Mrs Hughes. It was not unusual for the two to have the occasional disagreement but Mr Carson rarely did so in full view of the other staff. Alfred leant in to mutter out of the corner of his mouth,

"It's Lady Edith's birthday party. Lord and Lady Flintshire have written to say their daughter Rose is ill so they aren't coming, Lady Cartwright has written to ask if they can arrive on Friday instead of Saturday and now Lady Edith is insisting on some new fancy pudding to be served but Mrs Hughes has already done all the orders. I'd stay well clear of Mr Carson today if I were you. He looks as though he's about to explode!"

Jimmy was by no means a huge fan of Mr Carson's, but even he was concerned for the butler's health. He'd put himself in an early grave if he kept this up. After all it was only a bloody dinner party.

Mrs Hughes glanced up feeling Jimmy's eyes on her. She did a double take as she examined the footman more closely.

"My word James are you quite well? You look as though you're on death's door!"

Jimmy blushed as all eyes suddenly turned to him. Many of the staff murmured their agreement with Mrs Hughes's assessment as they took in his pale pallor and the deep circles under his eyes. Without looking up he could sense the worry and concern that was radiating off Thomas who had not taken his eyes off Jimmy since he entered the room.

"Maybe you ought to go lie down" offered Ivy as she collected the empty plates.

Mr Carson glared at Jimmy seeming to dare him to ask for the day off.

"No I'll be fine. I'm just a bit tired is all I haven't been able to sleep much lately."

Thomas stared guiltily down at his tea cup which only made Jimmy feel worse.

"Well be sure you get enough sleep tonight!" bellowed Mr Carson. The first of the guests is arriving tomorrow and we still have to polish the silver, make up the guest beds, organise the…" Mr Carson suddenly broke off clutching at his chest. Mrs Hughes leapt up from the table as the butler began to turn puce. "Alfred, go and ring for Dr Clarkson immediately!"

Alfred quickly hurried out of the room while Mrs Hughes set to work unbuttoning Mr Carson's collar and asked Ivy to fetch him some water. Behind her the bells rang noisily signalling the family were up and awaiting their breakfast. One of the hall boys came running in to say the doctor was on his way but there was a man on the telephone looking to speak to Mr Carson about a wine delivery.

Mr Carson gasped and made to get up before Mrs Hughes firmly pushed him back into his seat. Thomas rose to his feet before Mrs Hughes could rebuke the hall boy for his ill timed interruption.

"Jimmy, find Alfred and go make sure everything is ready for the upstairs breakfast, Mr Bates will you please inform his Lordship that Mr Carson has been taken ill and you," Thomas rounded on the hall boy who looked visibly shaken, "go outside and wait for the doctor. I'll go and deal with the wine delivery."

The room was suddenly filled with the sounds of scraping chairs as everyone scattered to complete their assigned tasks.

…

Several hours later Dr Clarkson had been and gone and, much to Mr Carson's dismay, had advised that the butler needed rest and was to remain bed ridden for the next week. Mrs Hughes had had to threaten to have him hospitalised to keep him in his bed and so it fell to Thomas to take on the butler's duties as well as the organising of Lady Edith's birthday celebration.

Thomas was kept plenty busy in the following few days as he oversaw the various preparations being carried out for the party. As the first of the guests arrived Thomas found his work load increase further as he now had all the extra servants to oversee.

That night he was sat at the servants' hall smoking. Though it was almost eleven o clock he had only just finished for the day and was looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet. Mrs Hughes caught sight of him and asked if he would like a nightcap in her sitting room. He was grateful if not surprised by her offer. In all his years working at Downton he could count the number of times he had been in Mrs Hughes's sitting room on one hand.

He followed her down the hall and settled into an arm chair accepting a glass of sherry from her.

"I must say Mr Barrow you have more than risen to the challenge these last few days. Even his Lordship has commented on it."

Thomas nodded his thanks once again pleasantly surprised. He did not often receive praise from the family.

"Thank you, Mrs Hughes" he said sipping his drink.

"I don't mind offering praise where it's due."

Mrs Hughes sipped her own sherry seeming to think about what she was about to say.

"I've noticed you and Jimmy seem to have fallen out again. Is there anything the matter?"

Thomas coughed loudly as he choked on his drink.

Mrs Hughes rose to pour him a glass of water from the jug on her desk and he exchanged his now empty glass of sherry for it.

"I wouldn't normally involve myself but he hasn't been looking too well recently and I wondered if you knew why?"

Thomas cleared his throat as he stared at his water avoiding the housekeeper's gaze.

"I haven't a clue. But I'm sure it's nothing too serious."

Thomas stood unsteadily to his feet and bid Mrs Hughes good night.

"Goodnight Mr Barrow."

Thomas couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her voice as he left.

He walked swiftly upstairs to his bedroom thankfully not running into anyone else along the way. He collapsed on to the bed fully suddenly exhausted. He had done nothing over the past few days but worry about Jimmy and hearing Mrs Hughes express her own concerns only added to Thomas's anxiety. Every morning Jimmy had come down to breakfast looking exhausted despite the fact that he was usually the first to go to bed every evening. Thomas had overheard Alfred, who slept in the room next to Jimmy's, telling Ivy and Daisy that he was being kept awake by jimmy pacing half the night. Thomas had told him off for gossiping and sent him off to help the hall boys roll out the carpets in the foyer.

Thomas sat up and unbuttoned his collar before bending down to untie his shoes. This is silly, he thought, as he kicked them off. He should just go and see Jimmy. Thomas slipped his shoes back on and went to go knock on the footman's door. His doubt's crept in even as knocked and he briefly considered turning around and running straight back to his room. Just as he was about to do just that, the door opened and Jimmy stared back at him in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

Thomas winced at Jimmy's less than enthusiastic reaction to his presence and was mentally kicking himself when Jimmy grimaced and stepped back to let Thomas pass.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Come in."

Thomas stepped into the room and glanced about. He noticed the bed sheets were in a twisted knot at the foot of the bed, as though Jimmy had been tossing and turning. He turned to face the younger man.

"I just wanted to see how you are. I know things have been rough for you lately and I wondered if there was anything I could do to help?"

Jimmy stared at the floor unable to meet the under butler's eye. "No, there's nothing you can do. This is my problem not yours."

Thomas sighed saddened by Jimmy's answer. "Alright, well I guess I should let you sleep."

Thomas swept past Jimmy but paused when his hand touched the door knob. Gathering his nerve he turned back to face Jimmy and reached for his hand, ignoring the footman's shock.

"Look Jimmy, I've said I'll wait and I meant it. If you need time or space or whatever else, I'll give it to you. I'll wait as long as it takes, just so long as you're mine at the end of it."

Thomas took a breath before continuing, forcing himself to say the words.

"But if that's not the case, if the answer is no, I'd rather know it now. We can go back to the way things were. We can still be friends."

Jimmy met Thomas' gaze unsure of how to respond. Maybe it would be for the best if they went back to being just friends. It would certainly make things easier, for Jimmy at least. But as he looked at the older man he knew it would never be enough. Not now he'd had a glimpse of how it could be. Ignoring all the doubts that were filling Jimmy's mind he gripped Thomas's hand tightly.

"I don't want to be your friend Thomas." He leaned in to place a soft chaste kiss on Thomas's lips but pulled back before Thomas could respond more fully. "I just need a little more time."

Thomas smiled as relief flooded his body. Jimmy wanted him, and that was worth waiting for.

"Take as long as you need." He reluctantly let go of jimmy's hand and left the room.

Jimmy closed the door behind Thomas and walked back to his bed rearranging the bed sheets before climbing in thinking maybe he would have a better sleep tonight. Just as he felt himself drift of he heard another knock on the door. It wasn't Thomas's tentative knock but a louder thump. Annoyed at being dragged from his bed he angrily wrenched open the door to see Alfred smiling down at him oblivious to his fellow footman's mood.

"Oh good your still up. Mrs Hughes wanted me to tell you that the Cartwrights are arriving on the seven o clock train so we'll have to be up early to greet them".

Jimmy blinked having almost totally forgotten about Lady Edith's birthday celebrations.

"Why are they arriving so early?"

"Lady Edith, Lady Cartwright and Lady Wilkins are all going to some party thing Lady Edith's newspaper friends are throwing for her. The rest of the guests will arrive on Saturday for the actual dinner".

"Oh, right." Said Jimmy already losing interest.

"Anyway, since Carson is still out of the picture and Mr Barrow is handling all his duties as well as his own, Mrs Hughes says you'll have to be in charge of settling in Mr Reid. Shouldn't be too hard, he was only just here so he knows where everything is. Just show him to his room and you'll be done".

"Right" repeated Jimmy. He had completely forgotten Mr Reid would be coming back. He felt a twinge of jealousy when he thought of the valet and under butler's previous relationship. But there was no chance of that this time. Was there? No. Thomas wouldn't do that to him.

"Anyway, I'm off to bed. Night!"

"Night."

Jimmy closed the door behind Alfred and climbed into bed. To his annoyance sleep did not come as easily as he had hoped and his mind raced as he thought of Freddie's impending visit. After all, Freddie had helped him before, surely he would again.

….

**A/N Hi guys sorry again for the delay I promise I'll have the next chapter up by the weekend! When I first wrote this chapter I didn't include the moment between Thomas and Jimmy in Jimmy's room but after reading a guest review who asked that they get together in this chapter. I thought I'd give you a little something just to keep you going. Hope you liked it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Jimmy stood next to Alfred and tried to stifle another yawn. He had been woken earlier than usual and it had felt as though he had only just drifted off before Alfred was pounding on his door to get him up. He felt himself shiver and his mood darkened when he thought of his warm bed upstairs. The Cartwrights were due at any moment and the chill in the air did nothing to lighten Jimmy's already foul mood but he composed his expression as he heard the sound of a car approaching. Mrs Hughes, who was standing to Jimmy's left turned and asked one of the housemaids to go and tell Mr Barrow the Cartwrights were arriving. Though it was customary for all the staff to greet visitors Mrs Hughes had given the under butler the morning off because of how hard he had been working. Jimmy couldn't help but smile at the idea of Mr Barrow sitting in the servants' hall sipping his tea smugly while the kitchen staff ran around like headless chickens trying to organise everything.

As the car came to a stop Lord Grantham, Lady Edith and Mr Branson all emerged from the house to greet their guests. Jimmy and Alfred stepped forward to open the doors while Lady Edith ushered them all inside out of the cold. The footmen busied themselves unloading the luggage wanting to follow everyone else inside as quickly as possible. In his hurry Jimmy misjudged the weight of one of the cases and felt it slip from his grasp. To Jimmy's relief, before the case could crash to the ground another pair of hands reached out to grab it in time. Jimmy glanced up at his helper expecting to see Alfred grinning down at him instead he met the cool eyes of Freddie Reid.

"Nice to see you again James" said Freddie smoothly.

Jimmy was dumbfounded by the valet's winning smile. He had forgotten just how handsome Freddie was. Or maybe he hadn't given the idea much thought on his last visit.

He nodded once in reply and returned to unloading the luggage. Mrs Hughes approached and greeted Mr Reid warmly.

"Good morning Mr Reid, how was the journey?"

"Well, thank you Mrs Hughes". The valet returned the house keeper's smile with one of his own.

"James" said Mrs Hughes turning her attention to him. "You can leave Alfred and the hall boys to finish, take Mr Reid down to the servants' hall for breakfast and then show him where he'll be staying."

"Of course, Mrs Hughes" replied Jimmy turning to reluctantly meet the other man's gaze. "It's just this way."

The pair set off around the side of the house to the servants' entrance.

"So how have you been?"

Jimmy didn't know where to begin.

"Fine"

"How's Mr Barrow, I thought he would have been part of the welcoming party"

Jimmy ignored his lingering jealousy.

"He's fine, busy. Mr Carson was taken ill".

"Yes I heard someone mention that. What a pity and just before the party."

"Mhmm" mumbled Jimmy.

"I take it things between you and Mr Barrow haven't progressed much since my last visit?"

James was caught between the urge to tell the valet everything and tell him to mind his own business.

"Not a lot, no"

As they approached the entrance to the servants' hall Thomas himself emerged from inside and did an almost comical double take at the sight of Jimmy and Freddie together.

"Mr Reid?! I hadn't realised you'd arrived yet.

Freddie grinned at the under butler's awkwardness.

"We came on the 9 o clock train."

"I wish I could stay and talk but I'm supposed to be overseeing the preparation for the guest rooms."

"Oh don't worry Jimmy is looking after me and I'm sure we'll get a chance to speak later."

Thomas glanced worriedly at Jimmy before offering a tight smile and setting off upstairs.

…

Breakfast was a somewhat hurried affair with everyone coming and going at various intervals with all the extra work to be done. Thankfully there wasn't much for the footmen to do until that evening when they would have to set up the dining room and so Mrs Hughes had told James and Alfred they could take two hours off as thanks for having to get up earlier than usual. Though Jimmy would never have admitted it he would have preferred to have been kept busy rather then have to sit alone for two hours in his room with little chance of sleep or rest.

Nonetheless he rose from the table to show Freddie to his room thinking that maybe he could play solitaire to pass the time. Freddie followed him upstairs to the male servants' quarters and thanked Jimmy when he indicated which room he'd be staying in.

As Jimmy turned to leave Freddie reached out a hand to stop him.

"Do you want to come in for a bit? Lord Cartwright won't need me 'til this afternoon."

"Sure" shrugged Jimmy before wearily following the valet inside.

"Right" said Freddie sitting down heavily on the bed and patting the space beside him indicating that Jimmy should do the same. "Sit down and tell me all about it."

Rather than sit next to Freddie on the bed, which felt far too intimate for Jimmy's liking, he dragged the desk chair next to the bed and flopped down into that. He then proceeded to tell the valet the whole story from accidentally catching them in the wine cellar right up to their exchange the previous night.

Freddie let out a low whistle when Jimmy had finished.

"Wow you have an eventful few weeks. So what are you going to do now?"

Jimmy felt his shoulders slump.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could help me with that."

Freddie blinked in surprise. "Me? Shouldn't you talk to Thomas about this?"

"I can't" said Jimmy, shaking his head for emphasis, "I can't talk to him until I know what I want".

"Well, what do you want?"

"I don't know!" said jimmy running his hands over his face in exasperation. "I mean, I like Thomas" Jimmy could feel himself blush as he admitted as much, "but, I don't know if I can handle It all."

"Handle what?" asked Freddie in confusion.

"You know. For starters it's illegal so it would always have to be a secret. I could never get married or have children. Plus there's the… you know"

"What" asked Freddie genuinely bewildered.

"Well the… the _physical_ side of it" said Jimmy feeling as though his whole body had been plunged in to hot water.

Freddie stared at Jimmy for a moment before he suddenly burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry!" he choked as he caught sight of Jimmy's expression. "I just wasn't expecting that."

Jimmy stood up "well I'm glad you find it funny" he said hotly "because it hasn't been much fun for me!"

Freddie sobered and grimaced apologetically at the younger man. "You're right and I'm sorry for laughing. Just sit back down and let me think a minute".

Jimmy sat back down and watched as Freddie drummed his fingers on his knee.

"Well, as for the secrecy part, it doesn't have to be a secret from _everybody_. I'd know for a start so that's something. And to be honest personally I'd rather have to hide how I feel then be false to myself and marry some girl. Better to have love then to have marriage. Just because you can't marry Thomas doesn't mean you can't have everything else marriage could offer".

Freddie smirked "Which brings us to the ah, _physical_ side of things, it's normal to be nervous but I wouldn't let that hold you back. You never know, you might just enjoy it."

Jimmy blushed at Freddie's grin unsure of how to respond.

"Why don't you think about it and if you want we can talk later. I'm here for the next few days so there's no rush."

Sensing he was being dismissed Jimmy stood up and Freddie followed him to the door. The pair exited together and Jimmy turned to face the valet.

"Thanks" he offered awkwardly.

"Don't mention it. I best go and unpack for his lordship."

"Do you know the way?" asked jimmy somewhat guiltily. After all he was supposed to be showing the man around.

"I'll find it."

Jimmy nodded and walked to his room glancing back before going inside and shutting the door.

Freddie turned and headed for the stairs only to find Thomas standing at the top of them staring suspiciously at Freddie.

"Lord Cartwright is looking for you. He wanted to know why you hadn't unpacked for him but I told him you were mending a tear in his dinner jacket."

"Thanks for that. He can be a right pain sometimes." Said Freddie smiling at the under butler.

Thomas however did not return his smile and instead narrowed his eyes. "What have you been up to all this time?"

"I've just been in my room."

"Alone?"

Freddie raised his eyebrow at the under butler's tone. "No. I was with Jimmy."

He quickly regretted his choice of words as he saw a shadow of hurt cross Thomas's face. He sighed and tried to placate him.

"He's just confused Thomas. He needs someone to talk to."

"And he can't talk to me?"

"He will. Just give it time."

…..

That evening Lord Grantham had set up a card game for the men staying in the house while the women were away at Lady Edith's newspaper party. Thomas knew the game would last well into the night during which time he would be expected to keep the cigars lit and the drinks flowing. It was sure to be a long night and not wanting to make it more painful than necessary he had given the footmen the night off so at least he wouldn't have to deal with Jimmy trying to avoid his gaze.

Having been given time off for the second time that day Jimmy decided to take advantage of his good fortune.

"Do you want to go to the pub Alfred?"

"Why"

Jimmy rolled his eyes already regretting asking. "Why do you think? For a drink of course!"

"I don't think so. Ivy said I could help her with her prep work for tomorrow."

Jimmy shook his head in dismay.

"I'll go with you" said Freddie.

Jimmy hesitated "don't you have to be back to dress Lord Cartwright?"

"Well yes but I have time for one at least. They won't be finished for ages."

The two set off for the Grantham Arms and settled into a corner booth. The pub was thinly populated with only six other patrons scattered about the room.

Jimmy was nervous about being out in public with Freddie and tried to remind himself that no one else would find it suspicious that two men were drinking together.

He calmed his nerves by downing his drink and ordering another round before Freddie had even taken so much as a sip of his.

"Whoa steady on! If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to get me drunk."

Jimmy's face fell as he remembered Thomas uttering those same words.

Freddie noticed Jimmy's change in mood and so downed his own pint and smacked his lips together noisily.

"There, now we're even."

The pair continued to match each other pint for pint over the next few hours with the result that when they finally staggered out of the pub they were both considerably tipsy. They began the short walk back home which took longer than usual because of their inebriated state.

"When did you know?" asked Jimmy suddenly just as the abbey came into view.

Understanding the question Freddie shrugged. "I don't know. I always knew I was different." He reconsidered "when I was fourteen I guess. I'd just gotten a job as a hall boy on a big estate in Wales, bigger then Downton. There were three footmen and about six hall boys. One night I was in the boot room when the second footman, Arthur, came in. We got to talking and before I knew it he'd kissed me. I'd never kissed anyone before then but over the next four years we did a lot more than just kiss." Freddie smiled at the memory.

"What happened?"

"He got a job as a valet in another house. We wrote for a while but then we lost touch."

"Do you miss him?"

Freddie thought for a moment. "Not really. I think about him sometimes but I've had other men come into my life since then."

"Like Thomas?" asked Jimmy.

Freddie grinned "Sure. There's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, Jimmy. Is there?"

"I guess not."

Freddie stopped walking as they approached the yard and turned Jimmy around to face him.

"Then what are you so afraid of?"

Jimmy bit his lip and looked down at the cigarette butts littering the ground.

"Because it's not just fun with Thomas. What if we do something and I change my mind? Or what if I'm not really like that and I can't…" Jimmy shook his head helplessly. "I can't risk it until I'm certain."

Freddie grasped Jimmy's hand and pulled him into the shadow of the tool shed.

"What are you doing?" Asked Jimmy in surprise.

Freddie firmly pressed Jimmy into the brick wall of the shed. "I'm going to kiss you."

Before Jimmy could object Freddie had crushed his lips to Jimmy's. The effect was instantaneous. Jimmy felt himself melt under the valet's touch. He placed his hands lightly on the other man's hips pulling him closer.

Freddie broke away with a look of triumph in his eyes. "There! You can't deny you enjoyed that."

Jimmy had to agree but he had also enjoyed kissing Thomas.

"I'm not denying it but it wasn't kissing I'd had a problem with."

Jimmy felt himself blush at what his words had implied. He tried to push Freddie away but the valet held him pinned against the wall.

"What exactly was it you had a problem with?"

Jimmy stuttered until Freddie silenced him with another kiss.

"Relax Jimmy. We're not going to do anything you don't want to. Just think of it as one friend helping another. We are friends aren't we?"

Jimmy nodded mutely.

"Well then let me help you". He ran his hand down Jimmy's chest coming to rest just above the waistband to his trousers. "You can always tell me to stop."

Jimmy felt his breathing hitch as he took a deep breath and nodded in agreement.

Freddie's hand continued to stroke up and down Jimmy's chest and at every stroke he came closer to dipping below Jimmy's waistband.

"I know you saw us in the cellar, but there are other things two men can do."

"I know" gasped jimmy.

When Freddie raised his eyebrow in question Jimmy continued

"I saw you at the fair in Ripon".

Freddie's hand suddenly slipped lower and began to undo the buttons on Jimmy's trousers.

"Did you? What did you see?"

He finished unbuttoning and rested his hand against Jimmy's bulge.

"I saw you… together" gasped Jimmy.

Freddie began to rub his hand against the outside of Jimmy's underwear.

"What were we doing?"

Jimmy struggled to find his voice has he became increasingly aroused.

"You were kissing. You were kissing and then… Thomas got on his knees."

Freddie reached into Jimmy's underwear and pulled out his cock. He ran his thumb over the tip which was already wet and began to stroke with agonizing slowness.

"What did Thomas do?"

"He took out your… and he started stroking it".

"Is that all?"

Freddie's strokes suddenly began to increase in tempo so much so that Jimmy found himself grasping the front of the valet's jacket just to remain upright.

"No. He… he put it in his mouth

Jimmy's breathing was now ragged as he felt himself get close.

"How did you feel watching him?"

Jimmy closed his eyes tightly as he drew up the memory.

"I was… I wanted him to do that to me. So I started… touching myself…and imagining it was him."

"What did you want him to do?"

Jimmy began to thrust his hips to meet Freddie's strokes as he got closer and closer.

"I… I wanted him… I wanted him to touch me. To… suck me. To feel his mouth on me…"

Jimmy let out a loud moan as he finally went over the edge and came hard.

He lay with his head pressed into Freddie's shoulder as his body shook with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

When Jimmy finally pulled away Freddie reached into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief to clean himself off while Jimmy buttoned up his trousers.

"Come on" said Freddie "we better get inside before they send out a search party."

The pair wandered into the servants' hall empty except for Mr Bates who was reading a newspaper.

"They still playing?" asked Freddie.

Bates nodded in reply. "If they don't finish soon we'll be dressing them for breakfast not for bed."

Freddie settled down across from Bates and sighed as he picked up an abandoned deck of cards and began shuffling.

"I'm off to bed" said Jimmy to no one in particular. But the two valets wished him goodnight all the same.

Jimmy skipped up the stairs and briefly considered knocking on Thomas's door before he remembered the under butler was still serving drinks downstairs. He sighed and reasoned he would only have to wait until morning to speak to him. After he had undressed and washed Jimmy settled into bed and shut his eyes thinking morning could not come soon enough.


End file.
